NAM: The Random Expressionist

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone... It's been a while since the last time I updated my blog. When I first open my blog after almost a year and a half, I feel weird again with the new interface. But, it's a good thing for me to start all over again. Not thinking much about what should I write for the sake of whoever wanna read this simple blog of mine. I've been thinking whether I should continue writing on this blog or not as I don't know if my mood will start to waver again. Knowing that writing has become a part of me since my school years, I think I will start to write again. For the sake of relieving what I keep in my mind and I treat this blog as a way for me to be myself again.     Honestly, my writing style is still niche, considering how many times I wrote poems and short prose in my other account. If you ask me, I'm still doubting about my own self. Till now, I'm still doubting what should I do with my life. I try my best to convince myself, knowing t...

Tangisan dari langit membasahi bumi Membawa aku keluar dari dunia mimpi Rintihanmu penuh beremosi Tidak tahan dengan kelalaian duniawi Dentuman amarahmu bingit didengari Terkesima dan menakutkan kamu beremosi Tujahan amaran memecahkan bumi Tika mana manusia memuja nikmat duniawi Hampa, terlalu hampa Tatkala manusia makin hanyut ke lembah maksiat Tersasar dari tujuan asal hidup Dikorupsi dangan khabar palsu Tangisan masih tidak reda Amaran demi amaran masih didengari Tapi manusia buat tak endah Kerna khusyuk dengan hiburan yang sementara Si manusia masih tidak mengenali Adakah itu hujan rahmat atau bala Tika mana dunia berada di penghujung Insaf dan simpati tidak wujud lagi Menunggu masa untuk ditarik nikmat Tangisan si manusia tidak berguna lagi NAM 22102018

"There's nothing to talk about As you're already have someone you can share your story about your life with someone you close too; There's nothing to talk about As you will just ignore it and focusing on the more juicier stories from others; There's nothing to share As the stories will always become the same till you feel like you wanna puke; You don't have to ask about me As I'm just a mere follower, not a person you used to know before; Counting days to leave this place and I assure you, you'll never find me and forget about our time together. Even if you tried to deny it, that's the truth. I wonder, do you really think of me as a friend or a tool?" NAM 01062016 #RandomTalk #mynameisNAM

Assalamualaikum and hello, "I keep dreaming everyday. Dream something big. A various kind of dreams that I really want to possess. A possession that somehow eats my sane from time to time. Whenever I tried to figure it out about that dream, I keep wondering. Doubting myself; Do I really need to do this? How am I gonna achieve this task? Am I good enough to create the miracle out of it? Am I strong enough to become the way I am right now? Overthinking about it and that makes me cry even more, rotting inside out. I smiled to you. But, I cannot hide anything from you. My expression My figure My walking style My attitude towards you My self-conscious My thoughts Sometimes, I happy. Sometimes, I sad. Sometimes, I have fun. Sometimes, I mad. Because of the dreams that I will never get possessed nor keeping it forever. Having the mind that thinks about getting everything and keep it. It's too dangerous. It's like, you're becoming obsessed with that dream and y...

Tarkala hati ini seringkali berbisik, "Berubahlah. Bertaubatlah. Cubalah untuk berubah. Lupakan perkara yang lalu; yang telah menjatuhkan maruahmu sedikit demi sedikit ibarat span yang makin lusuh diguna pakai orang. Perlahan-lahan cuba untuk mendaki kearah kebaikan yang hakiki. Yang deredhai oleh Ya Rabb." Tatkala hati berbisik, aku kelu. Aku mula merasa dengki. Dengki dengan akhlak makhluk-makhluk yang lain. Cemburu kerana mereka boleh melepaskan segala kerinduan kepada-Nya manakala aku masih lagi terperangkap dalam hiburan dunia. Kadang aku sedih. Air mataku tiba-tiba mengalir dari lingkaran mataku. Mula aku berbisik kembali dalam diri... "Adakah air mataku ini air mata yang ikhlas dari diriku untuk berubah atau hanyalah suatu lakonan untuk menagih simpati dari makhluk-makhluk sekeliling?" Sejak dari itu, aku mula menyendiri...