NAM: The Random Expressionist

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone... It's been a while since the last time I updated my blog. When I first open my blog after almost a year and a half, I feel weird again with the new interface. But, it's a good thing for me to start all over again. Not thinking much about what should I write for the sake of whoever wanna read this simple blog of mine. I've been thinking whether I should continue writing on this blog or not as I don't know if my mood will start to waver again. Knowing that writing has become a part of me since my school years, I think I will start to write again. For the sake of relieving what I keep in my mind and I treat this blog as a way for me to be myself again.     Honestly, my writing style is still niche, considering how many times I wrote poems and short prose in my other account. If you ask me, I'm still doubting about my own self. Till now, I'm still doubting what should I do with my life. I try my best to convince myself, knowing t...

Assalamualaikum wbt. To replace a broken heart is not easy. It is not like, you operate your body, take your heart that is full of wounds and cuts and replace it with the brand new heart. It is not like that! I always feel heartbroken. Every single days I face with the same thing all over again. It feels like I deserved to get a deja vú everyday because of my own mistakes. They will think I'm happy with my own life. Live the way that you want. But, at the same time, you feel guilty for the one you let them trust you the most in their life. I always feel like I'm just a replacement for the one who should be with them. I always feel like that. Even if they say that it is not like that. The way they treat you is different when they are with their true besties. A replacement for not miss them too much. That is how it works in my world. Sometimes, they might say, "Hey! That's too much! I never think like that for God's sake!" But then, the way they tell you th...